Psalm 37:7

BE STILL BEFORE THE LORD AND WAIT PATIENTLY FOR HIM; DO NOT FRET WHEN PEOPLE SUCCEED IN THEIR WAYS, WHEN THEY CARRY OUT THEIR WICKED SCHEMES

 

 

Hi all I know it’s been some time since I’ve written anything so I thought I’d come on and say hi and share a little of what’s been going on in my life. Let’s start with good news first. I just celebrated my 32nd Birthday! AMAZING! Birthdays for me are always such a special moment. Not because of the traditional things that happen during ones birthday. Like Cake, Gifts, attention from loved ones. That’s all great and I truly do appreciate all the attention I do get and how everyone is always there to make it extra special and I truly do feel the love. But what makes it even more meaningful and special to me. Is the accomplishment I feel to have survived another Year. The Joy and thankfulness that I feel and the satisfaction in knowing the Lords hands are on me and have been all these Years! There is nothing grater than the gift of Life! (Numbers 6:24-26) The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.’

As you all know I’ve gone over a Year without being in a Hospital and I am so thankful for that too and truly have enjoyed every minute of what I call “Freedom” LOL. But even though I haven’t been admitted. It does not mean it’s been easy or that I haven’t had my share of medical issues. As some of you who are on my Facebook page already know. Back in May I started developing some weird symptoms. I’m not going to go into detail about the symptoms because, well that’s Private and you all don’t need to know every detail, especially the gross ones LOL. But let’s just say after awhile I noticed my belly getting very big and tight. It almost looked like I was pregnant LOL. And let me tell you, it also kind of felt like it because my back hurt and I kept trying to rub it just like a pregnant lady LOL. After awhile it became a little comical to me LOL. But after my belly got so big that I was having issues breathing I said: Time to call my Doctor LOL. So we called him, they ran some tests and it turns out sadly, what I went through two Years ago was starting all over again. They found a pretty large pocket of fluid in my lower abdomen, and it was right where the last pocket was. Which meant this Fluid was coming from the Shunt that is in my brain. Remember I told you all before. I have a Shunt in my head and it stretches down into my abdomen. So than the fluid that builds up in my head drains into my belly, and from there I’m supposed to release it naturally. But unfortunately my body isn’t releasing a lot of it, a lot of it is just sitting in my belly and has no where to go, it’s just stuck.

When I first found this news out ill be honest I was pretty devastated over it. I thought, what do I do now Lord? As you all know. Last time this happened they said I had to remove my Shunt from my belly and attach it to a vein in my Neck. But back than I kept feeling the Lord saying not to do it. I kept feeling if I went through with it I’d be dead. But as you all know God brought me through that crisis. So when this happened all over again I was like what the heck Lord! This cant be? I cried for a good Three days because I felt lost. I knew God was not calling me Home yet. But yet I had no clue what to do and I felt lost. Than during that whole experience I heard a video on YouTube by Steffany Gretzinger. During the video she was expressing how some times you feel like the Lord has multiple personalities. He places you to the left and you blink and than he’s moved you to the right, or he will tell you to go up and than a minute later he will be pointing for you to go down. And at times it can get very overwhelming because your like ok Lord am I not hearing you right or do you just like messing with my head? But the reality is that’s how life works, life can change in the blink of an eye. But that’s where the refining process comes into play. I talk about Gold a lot in my blogs and as you all know I’m coming out with a book called Gold, but Gold is not created easily. It takes patients, strength, and a lot of hard work. You have to go through the refining process. burn and polish and burn and polish and cool off and heat up and than cool off and burn up and you keep doing all this for hours. Some times I think that’s what the Lord is doing to us. He’s working us to strengthen our relationship with him.

He’s teaching us to truly know what faith is. I can’t keep saying I have faith and trust in him and him alone and than the second something happens that I don’t understand I wipe my hands of him, or start to think he’s abandoned me, like I was starting to think back in May. Just because I don’t understand his ways doesn’t mean I give up. It means I have to work that faith muscle even more, it means I have to go through that fire and get Polished some more. I am not saying it’s easy, it may be one of the hardest things you will ever do. No one ever said faith would be easy, but the everlasting life we can achieve from it is so worth it.

I’m to the point medically now where even if I have struggles there’s not much medically that can be done. Because I’m so severe they do not want to touch me unless they truly have to. And honestly that can be a challenge at times too, because at times when you feel as horrible as I do. You don’t care about the risks you just want relief. But I’m to the point where the steps they have to take that can get me relief will harm me more than help me. So basically I have to tough it out till I, what I call “crash & burn” LOL. Which means until I’m in emergency room violently throwing up. Which that may not be the best plan, we all know that plan sucks. But right now it’s the only plan we have available to us. So bottom line is it comes down to trust. I can’t look at all the darkness around me, I just have to keep putting my head down and moving forward,

As you all know when I pick a song to post in my articles I always try to get the artists approval first. But I’ll be honest, I did not do that this time. I did not have the time to do that. You see a few weeks ago I started getting even sicker and I knew right away that the symptoms I was feeling was not just from the pocket of fluid, but was also from another medical issue I have in my belly. Large amounts of scar tissue blocking my intestines. So right away I started getting all anxious and also frustrated. Because this medical issue literally drains everything out of me. I can’t even take walks without wanting to vomit, so I was like oh Lord what do I do now? how do I get through this. I can’t live my life waking up every day vomiting again. I lived Four Years of my life like that Lord I can’t do it again, I won’t!

So I made an appointment with my Doctor, I talked to him this afternoon. He totally understands where I’m coming from. But in his sweet Dr like way, he kind of said I had to suck it up and deal with it for now. They know how hard it’s getting but they won’t go in without me throwing up. So when I came home I was like ugh, I can’t believe I’m back here! I can’t do this another Four Years Lord. If that’s the case you better come up with something Lord! I kept imagining all the worse case scenarios in my head. I knew better but this drains the life right out of you and when something drains you to that degree you just can’t think straight. So after I came home I was like ok Lord I have family in town it’s the Feast (Italian/Religious festival) I can’t sit here feeling sorry for myself. During all this I was in the middle of listening to a new singer. She’s brand new her EP just came out and I had only clicked on her because new release today (Christian music blog) was promoting her big time. So I clicked on her album started listening and right away I knew I liked it. So I continued to listen and than the song answers came on! I posted the lyrics to the song below. But when I started listening to it I had to start laughing because I was like well Lord you did it again. In your own daddy like way you put me in my place again. The begging of the song is her expressing how she has all these questions about life but yet nothing’s getting answered. Which is exactly word for word what I expressed to the Lord today. I kept saying I know you have the answers but why can’t I know them? You can so easily take this sickness away from me, I know you can I’ve seen you do it, but why aren’t you? Why do I have to be tortured! That’s all the stuff I was praying to the Lord this morning. Than that song came on and he told me, just trust, I just need you to have faith. You do not have to know the answers but to survive you do have to have faith! Faith without works is dead! (2 Corinthians 5:7) For we live by faith, not by sight. So that’s what I am trying to do, it’s a struggle I’ll be honest, I may not be perfect at it, but I will continue to move forward and just trust.

One last thing before I end. Update on my book. It should be releasing around October. Can’t wait for you all to read it. We’re so close to the finish product AHHHHHH I WILL BE ANNOUNCING THE EXACT DATE SOON………

THATS IT FOR TODAY ALL, I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU, PLEASE BE PRAYING FOR ME TOO. Read the Lyrics to the song below👇 and also don’t forget to join my Patreon page, the info is below too👇👇👇👇👇👇

LRYICS

What about all the earthquakes, fires and hurricanes?

Why does it keep on storming when You could stop the rain?

I want the answers

What about all the sickness medicine can’t solve?

What about all the cancer? You could heal it all

I want the answers

[Chorus]

You know my questions

You know my doubts

You know my fears that I’m afraid to talk about

I’m at the edge

About to break

When all I want is answers

But all You want is faith

[Verse 2]

What about all the orphans praying for a home?

I know You’re the good, good Father, but why are they alone?

I want the answers

And what about all the churches filled with fire and hate?

How do You let them stand up and preach it in Your name?

I want the answers

[Chorus]

You know my questions

You know my doubts

You know my fears that I’m afraid to talk about

I’m at the edge

About to break

When all I want is answers

But all You want is faith

[Bridge]

Faith that can conquer fear

Faith to know You are near

Faith You can drive out the dark, light my way

You are my answer when I have no answer

For the darkness in this world

[Chorus 2]

You know my questions

You know my doubts

I know You work all things for good, even now

I’m at the edge

About to break

When all I want is answers

But all I need is faith

---

Hey all don’t forget about my Patreon Campaign. A Patreon Campaign is basically a partnership. There’s different dollar amounts you can commit to giving. There’s one as low as $5.00 and what I like about this program is, it is not just about giving, it’s about giving and receiving. To all those who commit to giving. There are different prizes/gifts you all get in return for giving. For example: Anyone who commits to donating $50 a Month. I will send you a THE-BOOK-OF-ROO magnet, a OI CAN DO ALL THINGS wristband and I will give some Perfectly Posh Products. That’s just the $50 level reward but there’s some other great rewards on the site too plus anyone who joins no matter how much they commit to giving. They will automatically be among the first to receive my book. So check it out.  Patreon Page Click here

THE-BOOK-OF-ROO has options now! If you all are looking for a way to reach me on a more personal level, or maybe want to send a cash donation you can do that now. Please send any cards/Letters/Gifts to this PO Box. PO BOX: THE-BOOK-OF-ROO

4496 Mahoning Avenue #911 Youngstown, OH 44515

Please remember you can still also donate by clicking the donate button that is located at the bottom of this and all other articles located on THE-BOOK-OF-ROO.

I THINK THATS IT FOR TODAY. THANKS FOR READING AND SUPPORTING ME AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO. GOD BLESS AND PLEASE REMEMBER KEEP SHINING FOR CHRIST. BECAUSE HE NOT ONLY LOVES YOU, BUT ADORES YOU. ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER IF YOU NEED PRAYER I AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO READERS ARE HERE TO PRAY. JUST STOP BY OUR PRAYER PAGE AND POST YOUR PRAYER REQUEST AND I PROMISE WE WILL PRAY 😇 ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER AS I SAID EARLIER, RUNNING THIS WEBSITE AND WRITING/PUBLISHING A BOOK DOES ALL COST MONEY. SO IF YOUR FEELING LED PLEASE DONATE TO MY SITE. ITS VERY EASY TO DO. WE HAVE MANY OPTIONS NOW BUT THE EASIEST OPTION IS JUST TO CLICK THE “DONATE” BUTTON AND FILL OUT THE FORM. PLEASE KNOW I AM GRATEFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY DONATION THAT COMES IN NO MATTER IF ITS THROUGH THE PATREON PAGE, PO BOX OR PAYPAL. GOD BLESS, I LOVE YOU ALL AND MORE IMPORTANTLY JESUS LOVES YOU. KEEP ON SHINING FOR CHRIST ❤️

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