YOU WILL SEEK ME AND FIND ME WHEN YOU SEEK ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART.
Hi all. We have a lot to go over so I apologize right off the bat for writing such a long blog LOL. So oh boy where do I begin?? LOL. Well first of all I’d like to apologize for not getting the second part of this blog out sooner. I know I had promised you in the last blog that the next One would be written within Two Weeks. Well that Two Weeks turned into a whole Month, almost Two Months LOL.
I do apologize for that, but sadly I have a good excuse, and the reason I say sadly is because. My excuse for getting this blog out so late is. I was recently rushed to the Hospital, and ended up being there for Six Days. I’ll try to make this story short, but for those who do not know what happened.
Two Weeks after I wrote my last blog article I ended up going to the Doctors because I started to develop some really bad headaches. This wasn’t the first time I’ve gone through this, actually I been going through this for about a Year now. My Shunt, which is the tube that sucks the large amount of fluid that continually builds up around my brain (the thing that treats the Hydrocephalus) basically It keeps getting clogged. Between everything being naturally overcrowded from the Osteogenesis Imperfecta, and then also the large amount of scar tissue and adhesions that I have building up in my belly. It all just became to much for my stomach to handle. What’s happening is, between the scar tissue and my body eing naturally overcrowded. It’s all interfering with my Shunt.
What my Shunts supposed to do is suck the fluid up and then release it in to my stomach. But the issue I’m having is once the shunt sucks the fluid up and goes to empty in to my stomach. Some of it is not reaching my stomach and is getting stuck at the tip of my Shunt, and that then is basically forming its own little water balloon sort of speak. This all is causing me to get sick and have extreme headaches. We thought we figured out a solution that was easier then replacing the Shunt, because replacing the Shunt is major surgery.
The solution was to go in every few Months and have a Doctor perform a procedure. Where they would insert a needle into my belly. Where they then would suck up the bubble of fluid (abscess) that keeps forming. This most recent procedure ended up not going as planned though. This was now my Third time going through this same procedure. So I thought I had it in the bag. I even told my Mom that Morning, that this procedure was as easy as getting my Teeth cleaned. Boy was I wrong, and I should have known better then to say that.
When the Doctor was in the midst of doing the procedure I felt this burning sensation that I had never felt before. but as fast as I felt it, it was gone. So I did not think much of it, and went on with my Day. When I went home and as my Day went on. I did start to also question how sore I felt. But again I did not think much of it and ignored everything. Then about 7:00 that Night I started to feel this major, I mean major rush of sharp pains continually go through my stomach.
At that point I didn’t know what to do. Deep down I knew something bad was happening but yet I kept telling myself I was over thinking things, and that I needed to stop acting like a baby and realize I was fine, I was indeed not fine though. Even though I was not nauseated in that moment and had more pain then anything else. I still felt we were headed down a dangerous road, and knew deep down that I needed a Doctor. I was trying to ignore it because I did not want to go to the ER at 10:00pm at Night, I hate going to the ER, especially at Night.
So I decided to suck it up and try waiting till Morning before fully freaking out. But I knew deep down something was happening. So that Night I asked my Mom if we could sleep in the Livingroom. Which I think confused her because even though I was in pain, I wasn’t nauseated.
The only time I ever want my Mom to sleep next to me is when I’m nauseated. So the fact I wanted her to sleep next to me was hard to understand, and honestly I didn’t even understand why I wanted that. But I knew I did, and knew the Lord was guiding me to do that.
Thank GOD I listened because at 3:00AM I immediately opened my eyes and just started puking my guts up. I don’t mean to get graphic on you all. But that honestly was the worst I’ve felt in Years! I never threw up the way I did that Night. Every time I think about it now all I can do is just say THANK YOU JESUS. Because I have no doubt in my mind the Lord saved me that Night. I was throwing up so much, so fast that I would of never had time to call my Mom if I had slept alone. I have no doubt that if my Mom wasn’t there I would have choked to death. Because of the fact that I cannot hold my head up on my own.
This isn’t fully confirmed yet, but by the looks of my tests. The Doctors think that the Doctor who performed my procedure may have accidentally nicked my bowel or intestines. Thankfully I did not need Surgery and it healed on its own. Although the bad news is that I needed what’s called a NG tube put down me.
NG tubes are GOD awful. It was the first One I ever had and I promise you it will be my last LOL. Basically what a NG tube is, is this big tube that goes down your nose past your throat and all the way to the stomach, it feeds you and cleans you out. It was definitely the most intense thing I’ve ever had done to me while being fully conscious.
I got through it all though and after being in the Hospital for Six Days I was sent home. My only struggle now is. The NG tube kind of irritated my lungs. So if you all could pray that my lungs start to recover id appreciate it.
Ok now that I told you my horror story for the Week, let’s get down to business. What was the question I left you all with in the last blog? Anyone remember??? My question was. If JESUS paid the price for all our sins and If he set us free. Why don’t we always feel like were living in freedom? That’s a Biggy I know and there are so many explanations for why we feel like that at times. But I was listening to a really good teaching by a Pastor, a lot of you may know of him. The guy’s name is Louie Giglio.
He was giving a teaching called, it’s never to late for a comeback. He pointed out that 99.9% of the bible is about stories and people making a comeback. There are so many stories in the bible that represent heartache, confusion, anger, hopelessness, carelessness, and pain. Most of the stories are about people who struggle between their flesh and what they want for themselves, and what the LORD wants for them. This Pastor pointed out how it’s always us who are fighting the will of GOD.
You know a lot of times I tell people. It’s sad because we start looking at the Lord like he’s this genie in a bottle. Like all he’s good for is to grant our wishes, or excuse me I mean “prayers” LOL. a lot of people also lose sight in what being a Christian means, and even the whole sinners prayer thing.
The One thing non believers will ask is. What’s the point of living a biblical lifestyle if all we have to do is say the sinners prayer to be saved. Why can’t we do what we want and then just say the sinners prayer daily to protect or “save” ourselves? Good question and truthfully I kind of agree. Why do we need to live a biblical lifestyle if all we have to do is pray, and things will magically fix themselves.
I’d love if that were true, but here’s the thing people forget or lose sight of. We’re not just focusing on the destiny we can achieve in Heaven. We also need to focus on the destiny and the kingdom we can achieve here on Earth. And our “sinful behavior” does not just effect our destiny in Heaven but it effects our destiny that we can have here on Earth.
I hear so many Christians say: I can’t wait for the Day the Lord calls me home so I can finally have my castle or my dreams, and wishes granted. I am sorry, but I think that’s just so sad to hear Christians say. Because we should not be looking forward to the rapture or death to achieve our dreams. Yes I can’t wait till the Day the Lord calls me home, but it’s not because of the rewards I think I’m going to get in Heaven. I can’t wait till he calls me home so that I can finally spend my Days praising/worshiping him, and also see my loved ones who have gone before me.
Every choice we make affects our future. The bible says in (Jeremiah 17:10) “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” I hear so many people crying and questioning why this or that isn’t happening for them. Why do I feel stuck? Why isn’t the Lord using me? Why can’t I achieve the kingdom that every Christian brags about? Those are all good questions and we all have a right to ask them.
But we all have to remember it goes back to that word the Lord gave me about TIME. What we choose to focus our TIME on can greatly affect our destiny. We always think the only thing that can affect our destiny is if we’re “saved” but it’s about so much more then that. Being a Christian is about more then just praying the sinners prayer. It is about the condition of ones heart.
That Pastor that I meantioned earlier started talking about a guy named Samson. It’s a story from the book of judges. It talks about how a Woman (Samsons Mom) desired to have a baby so badly, and she had prayed and believed for One for years. Till finally One Day an Angel of the Lord came to her and told her. Her prayers would be answered, and she would soon have a baby Boy. That baby Boy was obviously Samson, and the bible says Gods hands were on Samsons life from the Day his Mom became pregnant with him. God had a huge destiny in store for Samson. Samson was like no other man, God blessed him with a supernatural strength. It says at One point that this man killed 30 men all on his own. He did so many other incredible things, it is kind of unbelievable all the things this man was capable of.
But even though he was blessed with this supernatural power, and even though he had a great relationship with God. It still was not perfect. There was One downfall Samson had. He had a little bit of a wondering eye, and even though he was blessed by God, his desires for woman and sex were stronger then his desire for God.
One Day Samson met this beautiful woman who kind of in a way hypnotized him. His desires for her distracted him from the will of God. Even though there were signs everywhere proving that Samsons new wife was up to no good. Samson did not see it.
Delilah was Samsons wife’s name, and she was all about Money. And at that time there was a army that was after Samson. Because they were dying to figure out how Samson was so strong, and once they figured out Samsons weakness was woman they sent Delilah in Samsons path.
Samson fell for their trap and after a short time Delilah finally got him to admit what made him so strong. For those who don’t know the story. His strength had to do with his hair. His entire life he had never cut his hair because God told him that’s what made him strong. Of course once Delilah and the army of men that were after Samson figured all this out. Delilah snuck in his bedroom while he was asleep and cut all his hair off!…
Of course when the army stormed in Samson tried to fight them off but sadly he was defeated. His supernatural power was gone! He was no longer in the will of God. And anyone who looses their path and isn’t in Gods will knows life can get scary and doors open for bad things to happen. Bad things happened to Samson, they locked him up, beat him and even gouged his eyes out, and he lived the rest of his Days in the dark. But during his storm, peace and mercy appeared. Even though Samson put his earthly desires before God, God still forgave him. Not only did he forgive him but he also gave him his power/strength back! Samson had such an amazing gift and because of that gift he had such an amazing future ahead of him, but because Samson took for granted his powers. His life and his TIME on earth were cut short. God may have forgiven Samson but because of the choices he made, those choices affected the future and destiny that God originally had planned for him.
Whenever life don’t go our way our first excuse is that the devil is attacking us. But wait if Jesus is our Father, and if he paid the price, and if we our bought by the blood of Jesus. Then how is it possible for the Devil to even touch us? It’s possible because of the choices we make. Yes the Devil is real and his job is to kill and destroy, but were supposed to be free and untouchable, and were supposed to have authority over all Evil. So if were untouchable how can the Devil touch us? He can because our choices affect our future and when we focus on us and not him (Jesus) that’s like opening a door and telling the Devil welcome to my home come right in LOL.
We have to be smarter, we have to stop worrying about our needs and our desires. Our desires are the main thing that get us all in trouble. We always assume we know what we need more then God. We have to have faith that the Lord knows what we truly need long before we know what we need.
(Psalms 5:10-12) Declare them guilty, O God! Let their intrigues be their downfall. Banish them for their many sins, for they have rebelled against you. But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Surely, Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.
TIME is short, we are only here for a moment, if you blink you will miss your chance. Don’t worry about your desires because I promise you the future the Lord has in store for you is much greater then anything you can imagine.
When he died it was for us, for our sins, our pain, our heartache, he died for all that and more. Every battle you go through remember he paid the price for that. So don’t worry about it, you have already won because in him we have victory.
People ask me all the time how I can truly be happy living the life I’m living. They ask me all the time how I can be in as much pain as I’m in and live my life in hospitals and always sick but yet be as happy and joyful as I am? How can I not be angry and depressed? How can I not feel like the Lord failed me? They say there’s so many things I can’t experience because of the diseases I battle. But here’s the thing, I don’t look at anything that way. I don’t feel like there’s anything I’m missing out on, any dream I have. Sick or not, if I truly believe Jesus is my Father,which I do, and if I truly believe he won the battle, which I know he did, then how could I feel like he failed me?
When I was born I was told I would not live past ten days! I was told I may never speak or read. Death was spoken over me in more ways then just a physical death. My parents were told I’d basically be nothing. But they didn’t focus on the Doctors prognosis. They focused on the word of God and believed that in him we’d have victory.
(Matthew 6:25-34) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
This scripture is basically saying don’t dwell on the useless, petty invaluable things. Because God is greater then anything this world has to offer. If we truly start focusing our TIME on him, and truly start believing that we truly do have victory in him, then anything can be possible. Don’t ever say any things impossible or that you can’t do something because that’s a lie. You can do all things through Christ.
So truly believe that. So many people know that scripture verse but do they truly believe it? Do we truly believe that through him we can do anything? I said anything!! Anything is possible so start believing that and start truly trusting in the destiny he has for you and remember when feelings of doubt or hopelessness start to take over. Remember he paid the price for that exact moment that your in.
Whatever your battling today. Remember to surrender to his will because he has you right where he wants you. It’s funny because when I was doing research for this article I came across this YouTube video, and the name of the video was. If God brought you to it he will bring you through it. The Minute I seen that headline I knew it was God speaking to me. It was like my own personal little note from the Lord confirming that this was what I was supposed to be writing on this week LOL.
Even if your going through the worse pain of your life, remember your in that place for One of Two reasons. One because the choices you made in your life brought you to that place, or Two because God himself put you in that place. So he can build you up to be the strong men/woman of God he knows you can be. When he looks at us he sees our soul, he sees the real us. So don’t try fighting him because he knows parts of us that we don’t even know exsisted.
There is a song that I heard by Hillary Scott. She’s actually One of the singers from Lady Antebellum, and she has this song (it’s listed in the top of this article) She literally just released this when I was writing this article, and the song is called Thy Will. It is a beautiful song and it blessed me so much, and I just knew I had to share it with you all. So please watch the video above. More importantly focus on the words to this song because there beautiful.
Ok that’s all I have for today now it’s on to the announcements, then I promise I am done LOL again so sorry for writing another long blog. Ok the first announcement is I’m pretty much done writing my book. So now it’s on to the raising money stage. As I said from the start of this journey, to publish this book and get it to where I want it. Will cost me over $10,000, and me not being able to fully work and being on a fixed income. Obviously $10,000 will not be easy to afford. But with God and with an amazing loving group of people like you, I know we can make this possible.
I know if I truly trust in him and allow him to take the wheel it can and will happen. But there’s a few things I have do in order to achieve my goal. One of the things I feel the Lords guided me to is the Patreon website. I had told you all in the past that I may do a Kickstarter /indiegogo campaign. But once I set it up and was looking at it. I truly felt like it just wasn’t supposed to be part of Gods plan.
So I just sat on it for awhile and kept praying, then One Day I was directed to the Patreon website. Basically it’s a website for anyone who has a creative, artistic way about themselves. You direct people to your page and they sign up and commit to giving you a certain amount of money each month to help you achieve your goal. I’m looking at it as you all signing up to a partnership.
Anyone who signs up will get a bunch of rewards. There’s different levels of the partnership. Like the person who gives $20 a month will get more then the person who gives $10. I have already thought of some really great things for you all to receive if you join my patreon page.
All who join are basically going to be my “board” sort of speak LOL. You all are going to help me finish creating this book. For anyone who joins. You not only will get a sneak peak of the book, but you also are going to help me finish writing it.
For anyone who joins. I want you to give me your opinion on things you want to see in the book and also give ideas on what you want me to write here on the-book-of-roo blog. You all will get to help me pick the cover for my book, and you will get to give your opinions on how I should publish it.
Also as a thank you the first two people who commit to giving the largest amount will get a painting from me, not just any painting, a painting that I myself created. You all will also get little gift cards and other surprise gifts here and there and also for all my patreons. I will do a vlog once a Month, just for my patreons though. Anyone who knows me, knows making a vlog will be One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, because I have a huge fear of cameras LOL. But I’m willing to get beyond my fears for you all, because your support means the world to me. And I truly feel if I could get even Ten people to commit to giving a donation each Month, then we can easily make this happen. The link to my Patreon page will be listed below. It’s very easy to join just follow the step by step instructions.
My second announcement is. The-book-of-roo finally got its own PO BOX. Which means anyone who wants to contact me or mail me anything (like a donation) LOL, you now can! I know a lot of my followers do not have or know how to work PayPal and were upset that it was my only way to receive donations. And I know a lot of you guys wanted to give but didn’t know how to reach me, well now you have no excuse LOL. I have a PO BOX now, so all you have to do is send me whatever you want to that address, and I promise I will receive it. Please remember though if you send a check, write it out to cash or Jacqueline Yafanaro. Do not write it out to the-book-of-roo. The PO BOX address is listed below.
My Third announcement is that I am also selling a small amount of Jewelry. A very sweet Lady sent me a very generous donation. It’s a large package of very nice, expensive Jewelry called Premiere Designs. This lady worked for Premiere Designs and used to sell for them and recently stopped and was left with Two brief cases filled with this Jewelry. So she decided to give it to me to sell for my website and book. So how I’m going to do this is list One item a Week. I will auction off One item a Week on Facebook, and also for those who do not have Facebook, don’t worry I’ll also post it on my Roo’s Treasures page here on the-book-of-roo (it’s located on the right hand side of this website). You all then can look at the products and see if there’s anything you want to bid on. You can pay using PayPal or send a check to my PO BOX.
My last announcement is. Tomorrow is WISHBONE DAY!!! (O.I AWARENESSS/OSTEOGENESIS IMPERFECTA AWARENESS DAY) I am selling O.I CAN DO ALL THINGS wristbands for $5.00 50% of the proceeds go to the O.I foundation.. You can purchase these wristbands in one of two places. You can go to my THE-BOOK-OF-ROO Facebook page and click on the shop button where then you will see them. Or you can go to ROO’S TREASURES page and that’s located on the right hand side of this website. It is listed right under the main pages tab and right above MY LIFE AND WHO I AM tab.
I also want to say HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the Moms out there and especially to my Mommy. You are amazing, you have given your all to me and I am so thankful for you. I love you ❤️
Patreon link: https://www.patreon.com/Thebookofroo?ty=h
PO BOX: THE-BOOK-OF-ROO
4496 Mahoning Avenue #911 Youngstown, OH 44515
THATS IT FOR TODAY. THANKS FOR READING AND SUPPORTING ME AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO. GOD BLESS AND PLEASE REMEMBER KEEP SHINING FOR CHRIST. BECAUSE HE NOT ONLY LOVES YOU, BUT ALSO ADORES YOU. ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER IF YOU NEED PRAYER I AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO READERS ARE HERE TO PRAY. JUST STOP BY OUR PRAYER PAGE AND POST YOUR PRAYER REQUEST AND I PROMISE WE WILL PRAY 😇 ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER RUNNING THIS WEBSITE AND WRITING/PUBLISHING A BOOK DOES ALL COST MONEY. SO IF YOUR FEELING LED PLEASE DONATE TO MY SITE. ITS VERY EASY TO DO JUST CLICK THE “DONATE” BUTTON AND FILL OUT THE FORM, THATS IT. PLEASE KNOW I AM GRATEFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY DONATION THAT COMES IN. GOD BLESS. I LOVE YOU ALL AND MORE IMPORTANTLY JESUS LOVES YOU. KEEP ON SHINING ❤️