PHILIPPIANS 4:13
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.
Hi all. Boy has it been an eventful few months! Let’s start with the good stuff first. I had a Birthday!!! I am officially 30 years old! OMG (oh my gosh) does it feel good to be 30. I had a huge celebration with my family and loved ones. The festivities began with My parents along with my siblings throwing me a 30th surprise party! So that was so much fun. 80 people were invited and over 100 showed up LOL (Gotta love my neighborhood) LOL.
All my family came in from out of town to celebrate with me. It was so much fun and such a blessing to have shared that moment with the people who truly love me and who I love. Each person that was there, truly were people who made an impact in my life. I am so grateful to each and every person who took time out of their busy lives to celebrate such a huge, important and special Day. It was so amazing entering that restaurant and seeing pictures of me from birth till now all over the place and then seeing that the theme of the party was GOLD (I think you can all figure out why the theme was GOLD) LOL. Of course seeing all that meant the world to me, but what meant more to me then anything, is seeing the hearts of everyone around me. Seeing how important it was to my family to do some thing that would bless me, seeing them crying and laughing and just, the pure joy and accomplishment we all felt in that moment.
Thankfulness is the only word I can think of to describe it all. Thankful to have lived 30 years, thankful to have a family who truly loves and supports me, thankful for having parents who love me so much that they would truly breathe for me if they could. This was not just a Birthday for me, this was a goal achieved, this was the proof of how AMAZING God is. I mean even my own Doctor called me and said how amazing this Birthday was for me, and how he himself don’t understand how I’ve lived 30 Years.
As you all know, when I was born I was not supposed to live Ten Days! Ten Days people! But yet I just celebrated, no scratch that because I don’t fully like using the term “Celebrated”. Because me turning 30 is so much more then a “Celebration”, it’s an accomplishment! I just accomplished 30 years of life. When I was continually being told I was going to die.
In that moment it self. Life (Enemy) was trying to take me down, and not only stop me from achieving that Day but also from celebrating with my family.
I have been going through some major, major medical issues, and honestly I’m being told once again that I’m running out of options and I could possibly die. The Night before my surprise party, and also that Morning. I was extremely, extremely sick and the Morning of my party, I even made the comment. I felt so bad that there was no way I was moving off the Livingroom floor. I told my family you all go do what you want. I don’t care what you say I feel like crap Today so I’m not leaving this floor (I obviously didn’t know about the party yet) LOL. Later that Day my Mom talked me into taking a bath. After my bath my meds had kicked in a little and my niece was at my house along with a few other cousins. So since I started feeling better my Mom then talked me into taking a “walk”. She said lets go take the kids to the park to run off some steam. Because they were starting to get, in the words of my Grandfather “Rambunctious”, LOL, so I agreed to go for a walk. It was awesome even my 5 year old niece was in on this scheme, the little snot , (obviously I’m joking people) LOL. She was screaming park, I can’t wait to go to the park, please can we go? Of course they all know no matter how crappy I feel, I’m going to give in to her. The only time I say no to her is if I’m puking and physically cant function LOL.
So we head to the “park” and some how half way up the street as were walking to the “park” my Mom makes a fast u-turn and ended up in the back of my cousins restaurant. Where all my family and friends were waiting, and of course at that point the jig was up LOL. So we had the party and then of course continued on with a yearly August/Birthday tradition “THE FEAST”. For those who do not know, “the feast” is an Italian/religious festival that’s in my neighborhood. This festival or as they call it “Feast”.
FYI (they get very offended when you call it a festival. So to all those (Neighborhood people) who read this, I’m not calling it that to be disrespectful. Just trying to explain to the “outsiders” what it’s like LOL )
“The Feast” is always celebrated in August and it’s always around or on my Birthday. It is always centered around the 15th of August. It either starts or ends on that Day every Year and it is called a religious holiday because it’s all about honoring Mary (Jesus Mom). This “Feast” lasts for Four Days. So we had Four Days of festivities, and most of my out of town family decided to stay since they were already in town for my party. On top of all that I also did some other really fun stuff but I won’t bore you with every detail, but bottom line is. I had one amazingly fun not just Birthday, but BirthMonth (I know I’m spoiled) LOL
During all that, if that wasn’t amazing enough. The Lord blessed me even more! From April to now. I have been listening to this lady named Joy Enriquez ,her album “The Call”. During all of April, May, June and July I just could not stop listening to this album. Then when my medical issues started getting worse and I went through that whole NG tube thing that I mentioned to you all in the last blog I wrote. ( Link to previous blog ) her album was a huge part of what got me through all that. Like I told you all in the last blog. That whole experience was intense and was definitely a struggle for me to not only get through but get over. And after all that went down I had a lot of sleepless Nights, and a lot of time where I just spent one on one time with God. Because I was like Wow ok Lord what the heck just happened? Did I really go through all that? And why? I had a lot of unanswered questions and truthfully a lot of anger in me. I was very angry that the Lord didn’t do anything to stop all that from taking place. I felt like he just sat back and let all that happen. But like I said in the last blog. He gave me the answers I so desperately needed to understand all that, and as I said before, I did make my peace with it all. So I’m not going to repeat myself and explain all that again, but for those who did not read my previous blog. Go read it and hear about all the things God brought me through.
Joy Enriquez album “The Call” was a huge blessing for me and almost was like a form of therapy. The majority of the songs on that album are all about trials and how we may be weak but he is strong. After I realized how much that album blessed and impacted me. I said: ok Lord I have to get this woman’s attention and I have to feature her on my website.
Theres a song called “Conquer” off her album and OMG (Oh my gosh) I felt like that entire song was just the story of my life right now. I mean the first two paragraphs of the song are this.
My feet may fail, but you won’t let them hit the ground
And I know you’re there, ev’n when the doubts in my head gets too loud, too loud
Oh fight after fight I would pray, I would say there’ll be better days up ahead
But night after night I’m amazed at your grace I was saved by faith and now I stand.Brighter than the fire I’m fighting
Higher than the mountain I’m climbing
Shout louder than the thunder, I’m stronger
No matter what I’ll conquer, I will conquer
Brighter than the fire I’m fighting
Higher than the mountain I’m climbing
Shout louder than the thunder, I’m stronger
No matter what I’ll conquer, I will conquer.
Thats just the beginning of the song “Conquer”, but look the rest up its beautiful. Then there’s another song called “Walking on Water” and of course the song I feature in the interview, “Shelter” and their all about when the storms rage don’t worry because he’s got you. So let whatever happen because he has the final say. These songs were truly what got me through these past few Months. Because I’ll be honest there were times I was not sure I could keep doing this. My body was (and still is) exhausted and there were so many Nights I just kept crying out to God, looking for answers. And I’d put on these songs and they would minister to me so much. And every time when I’d get done listening I’d realize. I’m ok because I don’t need to know all the answers. All I need to know is that when I call on him he’s going to be there. My life story is all living proof that when you call on him and surrender to his will and just trust. I know I say that in my blogs so much, but that truly is what it’s all about TRUST. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
When you fully surrender to his will and fully understand how to have a child like heart, and trust God like that. I promise you, every bit of anger, exhaustion and fear, will just melt away. Because when you trust like that he’s going to come running with open arms, and he’s going to take whatever negative feelings your having and wipe them away.
Our problem is we want to analyze everything to much and we expect to much. We have it in our heads the way we think our lives our supposed to go and the Minute that vision gets rattled a little bit. We don’t know how to react, what to do or where to turn. (John 15:16) You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. I think that scripture sums it up pretty well don’t you?
I got side tracked so let me reign this in LOL. After the Lord used these songs to minister to me I knew I had to contact Joy. But after I did research on her and realized how big she was and all that she’s accomplished. I’ll be honest I was a little intimidated and thought. There is no way a lady in her position is going to take someone like me serious LOL. There’s no way she even has time for me. Not only is she this huge singer who as a kid was on Star Search, but has also been on numerous other tv shows/movies. I mean the first picture I found when doing my research. Was her posing with Smokey Robinson. Let’s not forget who her husband is too. He’s a huge Producer and song writer himself and has worked with numerous, very well known artists like, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Beyoncé, Justin Bieber, Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, Mary J Blige. I mean that is just a few of the people he’s worked with. So why in the world would his wife and himself want to allow little ol me, not only interview her, but also feature her music on my site.
It’s a lot to get these people to trust you to let you use their songs. Because so many people in this world take this thing called the Internet for granted. And they take artists like her and plaster their songs all over the web. So for them to trust that I would not do that I know is big, and because she trusted me. If or when she reads this. I just want to say thank you. I never imagined you’d say yes to this interview. But then to also agree to allow me to interview you over the phone and not just through email, made it that much sweeter! The Lord definitely used you during this interview Joy, because it could not have come at a better time.
When I first contacted her like I said: I assumed shed agree to just interviewing her via email. I gave her the option to do skype or email, but I assumed shed choose email because only one other artist ever agreed to doing a Skype interview and honestly, well umm then that artist never showed up for the actual interview LOL. So I thought for sure a lady with her background would never allow anything more then a interview via email, and even that I thought was a long shot. But I believe Gods hands were on this and I believe Joy was obediant in allowing God to use her.
Because doing this interview taught me so much. When I realized who she really was. I so wanted to back out, because I was so imbaressed. I was like there is no way I can take up a lady as important as her time. She has 4 kids and this huge career and I’m just going to Facebook her and say: hey Im Jackie, I love music so can I interview you from my bedroom computer?? LOL. A little awkward don’t you think? LOL But the Lord has been pushing me to go out of my comfort zone a lot lately and I knew he was using this situation to do that once again. So as fearful as I was and as stupid as I felt I just kept telling myself, it’s ok you can do this, you can do this LOL. The good thing was once I got on the phone with Joy Enriquez I realized right away that she had a heart of GOLD and my fears were put at ease the second we started talking. (The only fear left at that point was my fear of Cameras LOL).
Ok that was the good stuff for August, now the bad stuff. As I briefly mentioned earlier in this blog. I have been struggling with a lot of medical issues. As I think I mentioned in a previous blog. I have a pocket of fluid that keeps forming in my belly. That pocket of fluid along with a few other issues in my belly keep making me very sick. I keep getting extremely nauseated and can barely eat, and I have extreme headaches. You see what’s happening is. Like I told you all before, my body may be small but all my organs are 30 year old organs. Plus I have a lot of major deformities (severe Scoliosis) and then on top of that. I still have a huge amount of scar tissue that’s basically destroying my stomach and everything in that area. so in a nutshell everything is literally being crushed! Everything’s so overcrowded now that there isnt any room for my shunt to function properly. Remember the Shunt is what drains the Cerebrospinal fluid that continually builds up in and around my brain. The Shunt sucks that fluid up and drains it out into my stomach. But because there is literally no room left in my stomach. The fluid is now getting stuck in all the scar tissue, and is basically forming its own Bubble or Shell (pocket of fluid).
So the big question now is. If I’m running out of room in my own body to even hold a thin tube, then what do I do?? I have a few options it’s not a completely hopeless situation, nor is it a death sentence. But at the same time, the options that are available to me are very risky. I’ll be honest none of the options are good options and it’s all scary to think about. But at the same time, that’s what my entire life has been about, “Scary situations”. Like I told my family and primary Doctor. I’m not going to avoid what I need to do just because it’s scary or dangerous. My entire life has been about danger. So I will keep fighting, praying and believing, and will continue to figure out the smartest and safest way to treat all this. But at the same time, I’m not just going to sit on my hands avoiding the big questions and do nothing. I haven’t done that in 30 years so I will not start now!
The 30 curse! a lot of people do not know this, but in the world of OI (Osteogenesis Imperfecta) 30 is thought of as a “curse”. Because not only do the majority of people not even see 30, but the closer they get to it, and the ones that achieve it, go through hell! (Excuse the H word can’t think of any other word to use LOL) I have had so many conversations with both men and woman asking me aren’t you worried about turning 30? Aren’t you scared your bones are going to get weaker, or your going to get sicker? The answer I have is no, I’m not scared of any of that. The reality is yes I am following in those foot steps. I mean look at all the medical issues I just told you guys about. So I’m not going to deny that yes the older I get the more challenging things become, but why does that make me special? That’s life. The older anyone gets the more challenging life gets. I choose to not let OI take anymore then it already has, I choose to look at 30 as an accomplishment and blessing, not a curse. And whatever challenges I face along the way, I choose to look at that as being life. You have your ups and your downs, your joys and sorrows. I choose to not look for an escape goat, and instead face things head on. Because through Christ I can do all things and with him comes victory. (Deuteronomy 20:4) For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” So when you read scriptures like that and when you know Your covered by the blood and know that when he died for you he not only saved you, but broke any curse that was ever placed!
Just keep fighting and moving forward. LIke I said before, we have it in our heads how we imagine our life to go, but it’s not about what we want. It’s about him and the more we accept that, the easier life’s going to be. (Jeremiah 29:11) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I promise you if you keep fighting and trusting him, you will achieve victory. I’m going to leave you with this last scripture verse (Job 23:10) But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as GOLD. (Thank you Pasor Fah for that verse😜)
Ok guys just one last thing. I hope you all remember I am writing and publishing a book and as I have said that all is not cheap LOL. Thankfully because of the amazing birthday party my family threw me. I was able to raise a little more than half the funds I need for the book. So now we truly are SOOOOOO CLOSE!!! So if anyone that reads this could find it in their hearts to become a part of my Patreon campaign I’d really appreciate it. The Patreon campaign is basically a partnership. There’s different dollar amounts you can commit to giving. There’s one as low as $5.00 and what I like about this website is its not just about giving, but it’s about giving and receiving. To all those who commit to giving. There are different prizes/gifts you all get in return for giving. For example: Anyone who commits to donating $50 a Month. I will send you a THE-BOOK-OF-ROO magnet, a OI CAN DO ALL THINGS wristband and I will give some Perfectly Posh Products. That’s just the $50 level rewards but there’s some other great rewards on the site too so check it out. Patreon Partnership Page
THE-BOOK-OF-ROO has options! If you all are looking for a way to reach me on a more personal level, or maybe want to send a cash donation you can do that now. Please send any cards/Letters/Gifts to this PO Box. PO BOX: THE-BOOK-OF-ROO
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I THINK THATS IT FOR TODAY, I APOLOGIZE FOR SUCH A LONG ARTICLE, BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.. THANKS FOR READING AND SUPPORTING ME AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO. GOD BLESS AND PLEASE REMEMBER KEEP SHINING FOR CHRIST. BECAUSE HE NOT ONLY LOVES YOU, BUT ALSO ADORES YOU. ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER IF YOU NEED PRAYER I AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO READERS ARE HERE TO PRAY. JUST STOP BY OUR PRAYER PAGE AND POST YOUR PRAYER REQUEST AND I PROMISE WE WILL PRAY 😇 ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER RUNNING THIS WEBSITE AND WRITING/PUBLISHING A BOOK DOES ALL COST MONEY TOO. SO IF YOUR FEELING LED PLEASE DONATE TO MY SITE. ITS VERY EASY TO DO JUST CLICK THE “DONATE” BUTTON AND FILL OUT THE FORM, THATS IT. PLEASE KNOW I AM GRATEFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY DONATION THAT COMES IN NO MATTER IF ITS THROUGH THE PATREON PAGE, PO BOX OR PAYPAL. GOD BLESS. I LOVE YOU ALL AND MORE IMPORTANTLY JESUS LOVES YOU. KEEP ON SHINING ❤️
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