PSALM 116:3-4
THE CORDS OF DEATH ENTANGLED ME, THE ANGUISH OF THE GRAVE CAME OVER ME; I WAS OVERCOME BY DISTRESS AND SORROW. THEN I CALLED ON THE NAME OF THE LORD: “LORD, SAVE ME!”
Hi all. So this article should not be to long. I just really wanted a chance to update you on everything that’s happened since August and the victory I achieved once again!
Not to long after I wrote my last article (to read previous article Click here) all the medical issues I mentioned in that article got Ten times worse. So bad I finally told my Doctors I could not take it anymore and something had to be done! I was doing everything that was humanly possible to just fight through the symptoms. Because the options the Doctors had for me, were all extremely risky, and they all involved major Surgery. So we all, including myself, felt the risk was to high and not worth it. Everyone (including myself) felt, if I were to go through with most of the Surgeries they had on the table for me. They would probably have killed me, and if they did not kill me they definitely would have destroyed the life I have now. But than in July my symptoms just started getting so extreme I could not take it.
I was practically crying myself to sleep every Night for at least Two Months. Because I was doing all I could to fight through everything, and knew if I chose Surgery my life would probably end. Honestly if this was any other time in my life,.I would have been ok with that, not because I was ok with “dying” but because I knew where I’d be going and knew my ultimate goal in life is to be with him (Jesus) anyways . So if this was any other time I would have taken the risk in a heart beat, but in this moment I just felt if my life ended, it would have ended before it was supposed to. I had so many things in my life I was not willing to give up yet, and so many things I had worked so hard to achieve, like this Book. I felt like if I were to have died now, it would have been like loosing a race at the finish line. Everything inside me was just not willing to accept that my life could end. But yet I was very conflicted and I will admit I think I let fear grip me a little.
I tortured myself and my body for almost Six Months. Trying to fight these symptoms I was having. Because I did not want to go through another risky Surgery. But than in July things just got, like I said, Ten times worse. My Stomach felt like a Rock was inside it again, and the fluid that was building up in my Brain was getting so extreme. All I wanted to do was sleep, but yet I couldn’t sleep because I was so uncomfortable. I couldn’t watch tv, I couldn’t read and my eyes felt like they weighted a Billion pounds. After awhile I had even realized my face was starting to swell a little too.
So after I wrote that article in August and after my 30th Birthday. I prayed, and after my time in prayer. I felt even though I didn’t want to, I had to go through with Surgery. So I sat down with my Parents and all my Doctors, and I told them I’m sorry but you have to do something, anything. I was willing to take the risk because I felt the Lord was telling me I was dying with or without the Surgery and at that point I felt. As risky as the surgery was, doing nothing was more risky. I had no doubt in my mind if they did not do something soon than that would be it, my life would have been over.
After having a long talk with my Doctors. I did finally get them to agree that something had to be done, and I was so relieved they were willing to try. At least I was relieved for about Twenty Seconds LOL. Than in the middle of the Doctors appointment as the Surgeons were telling me their plan. I hear the Lord saying: no, that plans going to kill you, tell them to do this….
The Lord than laid out this whole plan that he wanted me to suggest to the Doctors. I won’t explain all the details because most probably won’t understand it anyways LOL but bottom line really is. The Doctors wanted to move my Shunt and instead of having it drain in my Belly. They wanted to go in the Vein that’s in the Neck, the one that’s connected to our Heart. They wanted to connect the Shunt tubing to that Vein so than the extra fluid in my Brain would just get absorbed into my Blood stream.
The Lord on the other hand kept telling me not to have them do that and instead have them go in my Belly and basically do the same Surgery they did in 2012. Which is go in cut as much Scar Tissue out as possible and than move the Tubing to the Shunt over a little. The Surgeons did not agree with that plan at all at first. Because the more you cut out Scar Tissue the worse it gets. The Doctor explained it as being like a Snake. You can cut a Snakes tail off over and over, but it will continually grow back.
That is how Scar Tissue works, the more you cut it, the more it will grow back. The Doctors were also worried about how little room I have left inside my Belly. I have so little room left inside my Belly. That they were worried they may not be able to even fit their instruments in there to be able to cut Scar Tissue out. Without the risk of damaging my Organs. The Doctors also did not want to go through with that plan because it was not a “fix” it was basically just a way to buy time. But the Lord kept telling me it was ok. Because number One, no matter what treatment plan I chose nothings technically a “fix” every plan on the table was just a way to buy time. But the important thing at this point is what plan would benefit me the most. The Lord kept telling me I did not have to worry about the future, I just had to worry about this moment.
After the Doctors gave their plan I than nicely asked them and my Parents why we couldn’t do the plan I knew the Lord was showing me. Of course I didn’t tell them it was what the Lord was telling me. I just asked why we couldn’t cut the Scar Tissue out? That’s when the Doctor told me about it growing back faster and stronger the more you mess with it. So I just shut up at that point cause I didn’t know what to do and I felt they were going to do what they wanted no matter what I said. Because their the Doctors and they know better than me.
After the Doctors got done giving their plan they asked if they could leave the room for a Minute. They wanted to go look at my Scans One more time. So while they were looking at the Scans I just started praying and I told the Lord. Lord of course I trust you more than anyone but I don’t know how to get them to trust you, or me for that matter. So if this plan that you keep telling me about really can help me live. Than speak to those Doctors Hearts yourself and change their Mind.
The Doctor comes back in and is continuing to say that they want to go through my Neck and to the Vein connected to my Heart. And as their talking I’m just saying to myself oh come on Lord speak to these Doctors Hearts. Than all of a sudden the One Surgeon sits down and starts staring at my Belly and says: well if you really want to go in the Belly, I guess I’d be willing to try, but I can’t make any promises. Now let me remind you when he said all this I hadn’t said One word, I never asked them about going through my Belly again, all I did was pray LOL. I knew the Minute the Doctor said he was willing to try. Than that meant the Lord was working it out already but just to be sure I responded by saying. Well your the Doctors you know best and he looked at me and said no this is team work. You and your parents know you’re body better than any one of us. So please don’t be afraid to say stuff we will listen. In that moment it’s like I felt an instant break through and I knew the Lords hands were on this. (Psalm 118:8) It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.
(As I told you all awhile back. When I hear certain songs, sometimes I get just as encouraged, ministered to or even learn from them as I do from hearing a good teaching or from reading the Bible and while I was in the midst of writing this article I found this album by a group called Unspoken. Two of the songs on the album are perfect for this article. When I heard a song called Miracle on the album I knew I had to share it in this article, it’s soo beautiful and powerful. Unfortunately I cannot post the song in the article like I’d usually do because I don’t have any rights or permission to do so, and I didn’t have the time to work my magic and try to get a hold of them for permission. But I at least wanted to share the lyrics with you all. This is lyrics to a song called Miracle by Unspoken, I encourage you all to go listen to this song)
LYRICS TO MIRACLE:
“Miracle”
Have you stopped reaching?
No longer seeking greater things
Have you forgotten you have a father listening?
He tells the sun when to rise
Gives the wind it’s breath
Swings a door wide open and moves in a moment you least expect
Don’t you give up on a miracle
You’ve got to speak the impossible
You’ve got to pray till you break through breaks through the ceiling keep on believing
Don’t you give up
Don’t you give up on a miracle
How many chances?
How many answers pass us by?
You know it takes faith to step on the waves when you’re terrified
So when you’re packed in a corner
And can’t wait any longer
Don’t you give up on a miracle
You’ve got to speak the impossible
You’ve got to pray till you break through breaks through the ceiling keep on believing
Don’t you give up
Don’t you give up on a miracle
Feels like the presents the words you’ve spoken
They go unnoticed like drops in the ocean
Just beyond the veil of your vision
Your mountains are moving, moving on
Remember the works his hand has done
Where you once were and how far you’ve come
Don’t you give up on a miracle
You’ve got to speak the impossible
You’ve got to pray till you break through breaks through the ceiling keep on believing
Don’t you give up
Don’t you give up on a miracle
You’ve got to speak the impossible
Pray till you break through breaks through the ceiling keep on believing
Don’t you give up
Don’t you give up on a miracle
Pray till you break through breaks through the ceiling keep on believing
The past Two or Three Years have been a rough one, not just physically but mentally. I have lost a lot of people who I never thought in a Billion Years would have passed before me. A lot of these people were people that had been praying for me and my life for Years. So I had a lot of anxiety about that too. Because I kept thinking, if these people who were healthy and strong died, than how could I think I’d live? I mean even the person who I considered to be my Pastor and who I had been following for Years passed away just Two-Three Weeks ago (Kim Clement). He had been sick for over a Year. He had a lot of major health issues going on but it all started with a Brain Bleed. I remember just Days before he had his first Bleed. Actually I remember exactly when it was, Three Days. Just Three Days before He had his first Brain Bleed. I had contacted his team to ask if they all, including Kim, could please be praying for me. I explained to them how I was having issues with my Brain and how I was at risk of going through major Brain Surgery and also how I was at risk of my Brain being damaged. Never in a Million Years did I expect to open my Computer and find out that everything I was in fear of happening to me would happen to him. And now sadly this Month I found out he did lose his battle, and yes I know the good news is that he’s with our Lord Jesus Christ. But the bad news is it all happened way to soon. He had so much ahead of him. This man and his team had prayed me back to life more times than I could keep track of.
Sadly I have so many stories of people that passed away to soon and people who took part in helping me fight, people who helped me live. I’m not going to sit here and try to give some Christian cliche to try to explain it all. Because the truth is I don’t know why this happened, I don’t know why it happened to Kim or the 6-7 other people I knew who lost their lives these past few Years. But One thing it did teach me once again, is how precious life is! I know you are all sick of hearing me say that by now, but it truly is. It also reminded me how even in the midst of a storm my God is still faithful!
When your someone like me, whose been battling life for Thirty Years. After awhile it becomes your normalcy. And after awhile no matter how serious things get you just assume or expect to make it through. Because you have made it so many times before. After awhile it’s almost like you become numb to the reality of how serious you’re health is. And it wasn’t until all these people had passed that I truly realized how fast life can be taken from us. Truly in a heart beat you could just be gone!! And I’ve realized that more lately than I ever had.
(Mark 13:32-37) “But no one knows about that day or hour. Not even the angels in heaven know. The Son does not know. Only the Father knows. Keep watch! Stay awake! You do not know when that time will come. It’s like a man going away. He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge. Each one is given a task to do. He tells the one at the door to keep watch.
“So keep watch! You do not know when the owner of the house will come back. It may be in the evening or at midnight. It may be when the rooster crows or at dawn. He may come suddenly. So do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone. ‘Watch!’ ”
I had so many mixed emotions when they were wheeling me off to Surgery. In one breathe I was relaxed and calm. Because any time I kept thinking negatively. The Lord would give me visions, of me waking up after Surgery and being perfectly fine. In the visions I seen I was ok but yet I kept thinking of all these people I knew this year who believed just as strongly as I did and who were gone. Even in that very moment of me getting ready for Surgery. I had Doctors on every end of my Bed. Basically explaining all the different ways I could die! It took them exactly Fifteen Minutes to explain Six different ways that I could die, or be stuck on machines for Months, to where I’d still eventually die! I mean we were so sure this time that some thing could actually happen. That I even made a list of all my Personal information, like passwords to all my accounts and where I had placed certain things. That’s how much I let fear grip me. And I have to admit after Surgery I was pretty disappointed in myself. Disappointed that I allowed myself to think such negative things and most importantly that I allowed the devil to almost win.
It was also very confusing because like I said. I had all these Doctors and my family preparing me for the worst. But yet every time I closed my eyes and pictured what life would be like after Surgery. I was perfectly fine, I was better than fine, I was better than I had ever been after a Surgery. Every time I’d start crying or I’d get scared, the Lord would give me that same vision. I just could not get that vision of me waking up laughing and talking and being perfectly fine, out of my head. I kept telling the Lord, Lord I don’t get it. All these people are telling me I’m basically dying but yet all you keep showing me is life! Even when they placed me on the operating table, I went to start crying again and I couldn’t because this wave of peace just came over me and all of a sudden I kept hearing a song (it is well with me) play in my head and every time I’d close my eyes I’d see myself waking up after Surgery and being totally fine. In the vision I could even hear myself saying: I don’t get it, this was supposed to be one of the worse Surgeries I’ve had, but yet I am totally fine I’m not even drowsy from the anesthesia!
(Psalm 121:7-8) The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
(Lyrics to the Second song by Unspoken that I mentioned earlier. That I felt was perfect for this article. So I just had to share them too, and again I encourage you all to go get this album. It ministered to me so much this week)
LRYICS TO THE CURE:
“The Cure”
We’re all related, brothers and strangers,
The king and the beggar bleed the same.
We’ve all got a sickness, a terminal condition,
We medicate it but the pain won’t go away.
See the eyes of a million faces,
Looking forward in a million places,
Only one can save us, Jesus.
You are the cure!
Everybody’s searching for it,
Everybody’s reaching out,
Trying to grab a hold of something real.
You are the cure!
Only you can satisfy us,
Fill up the void inside us,
Never been a heart you couldn’t heal.
You are the cure…
You are the doctor, healer and father,
To the orphan without a home.
We feel in the darkness, lost till you found us,
You are the remedy we’ve been looking for.
You are the cure!
Everybody’s searching for it,
Everybody’s reaching out,
Trying to grab a hold of something real.
You are the cure!
Only you can satisfy us,
Fill up the void inside us,
Never been a heart you couldn’t heal.
You are the cure…
Cure for the broken, the hope for a hopeless world.
The meaning, the purpose, the peace that will make us whole.
Don’t have to search no more.
Don’t have to search no more.
You are the cure!
Everybody’s searching for it,
Everybody’s reaching out,
Trying to grab a hold of something real.
You are the cure!
Only you can satisfy us,
Fill up the void inside us,
Never been a heart you couldn’t heal.
You are the cure…
You are the cure, cure
Never been a heart you couldn’t heal.
You are the cure, cure
Never been a heart you couldn’t heal.
When I came out of Surgery I experienced the exact same things the Lord showed me in that vision, even down to saying what I heard myself say about how amazed I was that I wasn’t drowsy. When I woke up I was totally fine, I wasn’t in pain, I wasn’t drowsy, I wasn’t anything but myself. When I went in to Surgery they told me to expect to wake up in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) but because I did so well after Surgery they ended up bringing me straight to a regular room! Not only did they bring me to a regular room, but they also told me, I was doing so good they felt I could have probably gone home if I wanted to. Thank God they didn’t actually send me home, because I did end up having a small reaction about Fifteen, Sixteen Hours after the Surgery. But even the reaction I had, had nothing to do with the Surgery. It more had to do with the fact that I had gone so long without eating or drinking or taking my medications that I take on a regular basis. That My body just kind of spiraled out of control for a Minute.
I had gotten so sick before Surgery that I went without eating anything for a good Four Days! So between not eating or drinking or taking any of my meds. Things just kind of caught up to me. But as far as the Surgery went, I was One Hundred percent fine. Me and my Family and even my Doctors were on top of the world. They were just as relieved as I was and once again they all just shook their heads wondering how I did this once again. How did I fight sickness and death again? They all keep telling me how strong and how much of a miracle I am and I agree my life is a miracle. But as far as me “Jackie Yafanaro” being a miracle. Heck no, I’m no miracle, but I do know the miracle maker and that’s my Lord Jesus Christ. He is my life support and he continually saves me and keeps me breathing and because of that I will never doubt!
I may not understand why I keep living when all these other people around me passed away. But like I said in my last article. I do not need to have all the answers. When my time finally does come and I do see my kings face. I’m sure all those questions will be answered, but for now, I not only believe, but I know he is faithful and even during times of uncertainty he’s still faithful. Sure I may have a lot of questions about certain things but I don’t and never will have doubt. How could I after all he’s done for me and all I’ve experienced in life.
There are so many people in this world who I see who are focusing their time on nonsense, who are letting fear take hold of them and hiding behind pointless garbage. And it is so sad to see because I just want to say, if you’d only trust. That’s all it comes down to, trust. I know I said that in my last article too, but again I’ll say. As simple as that sounds that truly is what it’s about TRUST, trust even during your storm. He loves us so much and I feel it more now than I ever have.. times so short don’t waste a second of it. Get beyond your fears and doubts and do what your called to.
Thats really all I have for today, like I said I just really wanted to update you all and tell you the miracle that is LIFE!
( Psalm 63:3) Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
Ok guys just a few announcements before I go. As I himted earlier in the article I am writing and publishing a book and I am planning to begin the publishing stage at the beginning of the new Year. But as I have said before publishing a book is not cheap LOL. Thankfully because of the amazing Birthday party my family had for me in August. I was able to raise a little more then half the funds I need for the book. So now I truly am SOOOOOO CLOSE!!! So if anyone that reads this could find it in their Hearts to become a part of my Patreon Campaign I’d really appreciate it.
The Patreon campaign is basically a partnership. There’s different dollar amounts you can commit to giving. There’s one as low as $5.00 and what I like about this program is, it is not just about giving, it’s about giving and receiving. To all those who commit to giving. There are different prizes/gifts you all get in return for giving. For example: Anyone who commits to donating $50 a Month. I will send you a THE-BOOK-OF-ROO magnet, a OI CAN DO ALL THINGS wristband and I will give some Perfectly Posh Products . That’s just the $50 level rewards but there’s some other great rewards on the site too (plus anyone who joins no matter how much they commit to giving. They will automatically be among the first to receive my book) So check it out Patreon Partnership Page.
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I THINK THATS IT FOR TODAY. IF I DO NOT SEE YOU ALL BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS PLEASE HAVE A BLESSED AND MERRY CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS.. THANKS FOR READING AND SUPPORTING ME AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO. GOD BLESS AND PLEASE REMEMBER KEEP SHINING FOR CHRIST. BECAUSE HE NOT ONLY LOVES YOU, BUT ADORES YOU. ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER IF YOU NEED PRAYER I AND THE-BOOK-OF-ROO READERS ARE HERE TO PRAY. JUST STOP BY OUR PRAYER PAGE AND POST YOUR PRAYER REQUEST AND I PROMISE WE WILL PRAY 😇 ALSO PLEASE REMEMBER AS I SAID EARLIER, RUNNING THIS WEBSITE AND WRITING/PUBLISHING A BOOK DOES ALL COST MONEY TOO. SO IF YOUR FEELING LED DURING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON PLEASE DONATE TO MY SITE. ITS VERY EASY TO DO. WE HAVE MANY OPTIONS NOW BUT THE EASIEST OPTION IS JUST TO CLICK THE “DONATE” BUTTON AND FILL OUT THE FORM, THATS IT. PLEASE KNOW I AM GRATEFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY DONATION THAT COMES IN NO MATTER IF ITS THROUGH THE PATREON PAGE, PO BOX OR PAYPAL. GOD BLESS, I LOVE YOU ALL AND MORE IMPORTANTLY JESUS LOVES YOU. KEEP ON SHINING FOR CHRIST ❤️
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