Romans 12:10
BE DEVOTED TO ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE. HONOR ONE ANOTHER ABOVE YOURSELVES.
Hi all sorry it’s been awhile since I wrote a blog, been busy getting THE-BOOK-OF-ROO podcast off the ground and also the book! I finally have the funds to publish it. I am just making sure it’s totally edited, spelling is correct, grammar is correct and just making sure it reads well before I hit the trigger, because once I hit that trigger there’s no turning back. But I’m officially hitting the trigger (which means sending it to publish to approve) next week! So be praying the publisher approves it all and that there’s no copyright issues. I truly cannot wait for you all to read this book, it truly is my baby and my labor of love.
So before I get into why I decided to blog today let’s quickly give a update on me. Well health wise there’s not much new to report, medically “on paper” I probably look and sound better than I ever have lol. But physically and realistically I’m still bad, I’m probably actually the worst I felt since my surgery in 2012 I won’t lie😜 the nausea is indescribable, when it hits me it’s like a ton of bricks hitting me at once and some days are worse than others. All this month I was doing fairly well, I couldn’t leave my house much but as long as I didn’t move a lot, I did great LOL. Than all of a sudden about 6 days before Christmas (Dec 25th) I just felt this huge wave of nausea come over me. I was so nauseated that I physically could not speak. I was like great here we go another Christmas in the ER. I thought for sure I’d be in there, if you look at my personal Facebook page I even asked people to pray for me because that’s how bad this got. I just could not fight this on me own anymore and I knew that, I just knew I physically nor mentally could do this on my own. I knew the only way I’d overcome this is with prayer. So I had people praying, hundreds probably and than about a hour before we left the house (because Christmas dinner was at my sisters) I just made the decision I needed to focus my mind on living! And I needed to speak life into my body, so I said ok I’m going to push myself as much as I can, let me put a headband on, and let me do a little makeup. I figured if I act ok maybe my body will start to believe it lol. So that’s what I did, like I said I did my hair (not perfect but I did what I could) I filed my nails, I put on my makeup (again not perfect but I did it) and I put a new top on, which when I’m sick like this I never put new tops on I just stay in my pjs, I don’t care where I’m going as long as I’m comfy lol. The only thing I didn’t do is put nice pants on. I had to stay in my pj pants and the only reason that was is because my stomach could not handle anything tight around the waste, and for some reason the only pants that fit me loosely without falling off is my pj pants, so they have pretty much become my 24/7 pants LOL, I knew if I put jeans on or dress pants I’d be overdoing it, so I did not do that but everything else I did and amazingly enough I think that worked because I got through it all. Some times when your body feels like death you have to speak life into it, not only to your physical being but also to your soul.
Yesterday and this morning (dec 24th and early morning 25th) were extremely rough like I said, I could not even move my tongue because just moving my tongue to speak was nauseating me. I was also getting worried because it was now going on almost 7 days without any relief, so I thought ok God I can’t go on like this much longer something has to break. Than all of a sudden tonight when I was sitting at the Christmas dinner table I just felt everything ease up, it didn’t disappear but it eased up just enough to where I could at least function and feel a little more human, I was so thankful. I was even able to eat a few bites of food, which I hadn’t done in 6 days, other than that medically and physically there’s not much new to report. So that’s my update On my health now on to why I decided to blog LOL.
Back in like October I got in this, what I will call a heated “discussion” LOL with my siblings, and it was about Christmas and the importance in gift giving. Their thing was, why can’t we just buy gifts for my niece (my sisters 8 year old daughter) and that’s it, now when they suggested this I understood part of their point. Realistically it would make sense, we’re all adults, we have our own money so why buy crap that we don’t need for each other, in the natural, (mans eye) that makes total sense. But I got very offended by that to the point I think my poor brother is scared to even mention the word gift to me anymore LOL, but here is why I got upset. Now originally when I first had this “discussion” with my siblings I opted not to blog about it because I figured it was a family issue, but than everywhere I went I kept hearing more families saying the same crap, and having that same attitude and yes I said crap because thats what it is, that kind of attitude about Christmas and buying a $15-$20 gift for your loved ones is crap to me and it gets me very angry and here’s why. As adults we start to take more and more away. We want to take the things that are originally put in place to keep us connected thrown out. I get there’s a time to let the old go to welcome the new, but there’s also a moment where you have to cherish some things about your past to keep you connected to your present. We already don’t want buy each other birthday gifts, now we don’t want to buy Christmas gifts. So what moment will we all take aside in our lives to actually think of each other? And I’m asking this question to everyone as a whole not just my family or the people in my inner circle but I’m asking everyone? If we continue to minimize those special moments with each other than when will we take that moment to just say hey you know I think my aunt or uncle would like this, or I think my mom would enjoy this. We have come to a point where everything is about what we want what we need, what will make my life easier, it truly has gotten on my very last nerve this year. There’s only a few times a year where we take out to truly think about one another and if we exclude that what will there be left? And if you stop thinking about each other than what will be left to keep you connected to each other? It’s just another reason why so many families are separated because no one takes those moments to think about each other. It’s not about the gifts it’s about the fact that you took that moment to think about another person to show your appreciation for the fact that their in your life!
The older I get the more that Clock gets shorter and shorter, and I know it does for everyone but for someone like me that holds true even more. And it’s really sad to me because the only thing people are caring about anymore is vacations or drinking and partying and all the things that in the end are not going to mean crap to you. I hate to continue to go back to this so much but I can’t help it. When you are taking your last breathe do you think your fancy house or your bills or your cars or your jobs or even your friends, and I’m not referring to good friends, family, ride or die type friends. I’m talking to your “party friends” you know those people you call friends who won’t do crap for you but you continue to call them a “friend” so you can look good or cool because you think their the popular ones, come on be honest we all know we got them, I am not talking about those friends. I’m talking about the friend who will lay their life down for you, I’m talking about the friend who will go through pain and heartache with you, who will actually have compassion for you and actually show they have it, not just say they have it. Like I always tell people your actions speak louder than words. Those people the ones who will lay their life down for you, those are the ones your going to think about when you take your last breathe and that moment, that memory is going to be the only one that matters in the end and I promise you that memory is not going to be you sitting in the bar chugging back a few shots, those are not the memories your going to think about. The memories your going to think about are ones like I had this week. Sitting in the living room while I watch my mother bake cookies for 4 days straight, or watching my dad pound a plate of veal out and watching him act like he’s a professional one minute and the next hearing a plate shatter in our kitchen because he wasn’t watching where he was slamming the hammer and well on the second pound instead of the meat getting the hammer our dish got it LOL. Or watching my niece get excited while she opened her gifts, and watching her walk around all grown up taking pictures of everyone, and thinking back of how much she has grown and matured in just 1 year. Or taking those few moments out of our day the past few weeks to buy and plan everyone’s gifts. All 3 of us as siblings hadn’t spoken to each other as much as we did this month, and yes that’s sad but life gets busy everyone has careers, spouses, houses to take care of, kids and everything else, I get it, I’m just as guilty, but my point is that’s why families like ours need to keep these what may seem “stupid” traditions alive because without them we’d have nothing. And moments like these are going to be what are important in the end, so as much as we don’t want to, because trust me I didn’t want to either this year. This was one of the hardest Christmases to get into. I have never struggled getting into the spirit of Christmas but for some reason there was just something in the air this year. Their was so much heaviness and I just could not get into it until Christmas Eve, and I’m not the only one who felt that way, everyone I spoke to said it, heck even tv shows were portraying that on tv LOL. But in the end I’m glad I fought to keep our tradition alive because in the end these little moments are going to be all that matters 😍🥰
I probably don’t even need to explain this now, but that’s why I chose Romans 12:10 because I know when people read that their minds going to go right to their spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends, but its not referring to just that. It’s referring to each other as a whole, we need to be devoted to all the people that are important to us, because we truly do not know when our last moment will be.
I have a friend who lost her husband at 1 in the morning on Christmas. On Christmas morning she had to wake up to tell her kids that their father was gone. Could you imagine having to tell your kids that on Christmas morning? Again I can’t say this enough, LIFE IS SHORT AND THE NONSENSE THAT WE WORRY ABOUT IS NOT WHATS IMPORTANT, WERE IMPORTANT, THE LOVE AND MEMORIES AND RELATIONSHIPS THAT WE BUILT WITH EACH OTHER IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT. THE BEST GIFT IS THE GIFT OF TIME! THATS IT FOR TODAY, GOD BLESS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEARS! LETS GO IN TO 2020 GLOWING BABY!
PS SORRY IF THIS ISN’T WRITTEN OUT PERFECTLY I WROTE IT REALLY FAST LOL.
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